How To Find Your Life Purpose
What the hell am I living for?
Wake up, go to work, sleep.
Those other happy people, who have it all and smile throughout the day.
How do they do it?
Is it something that I can have?
As a kid, you wanted to become something.
As a kid, your something was either ridiculed or supported.
For most it was the former. So that, that something turned into nothing but a thought, a speck of a bigger dream.
So, again you ask, “What am I here for”?
You hear everywhere from the experts and the gurus, that you’re here for a reason, for a purpose. If that’s the case, what is that purpose and why is it so disillusional to grasp and live out, so that you too can be like one of those other happy people who always smile?
This train of thought, is something that every single one of us go through.
Asking ourselves the non-rhetorial question: What am I here for?
Because we really do want to know the answer.
Because living like you’re in a daze and just going through the motions, isn’t something you want nor does it fulfill you.
Climbed and conquered the business ladder.
Achieved your childhood something.
You’ve got the house, car, love of your life, healthy children.
You have it all. On the outside. And yet, you still feel that something is missing?
Or perhaps you had it all and are now in a place of despair, wondering what use it was gaining all that experience and knowledge in life to stand here, at the end of the day with absolutely nothing.
And you ask yourself again: What am I here for?
How do you find or live your life purpose without going insane or anxious trying to find it?
Let’s first define the words Life Purpose.
What I understand under Purpose may not be what you understand, so if I may, I’ll share my version, it may be the same as yours or maybe different. There’s no right or wrong, just a viewpoint.
WHAT IS (LIFE) PURPOSE?
For me, finding your life purpose hasn’t really anything to do with your profession or career. It’s not what you wanted to become. It’s also not your WHY?
For me, your purpose is the CORE of WHO you are.
And this is where it all starts in finding your Life Purpose.
First of all, you weren’t made in a day. You needed time.
Second of all, whilst you were being created. Whilst you were born into this world and grew up amongst good and bad influences, you changed and stretched into who you are today. And even if you’re not 100% sure of who that is, it’s where your answers lie.
So finding WHO we are, and then knowing it in our CORE, is often an overwhelming moment.
In my book Soul’d Out: Your Guide To Finding Your Life Purpose (and the accompanying 50-page Workbook), I ask you questions, to bring out the answers within you, to assist you in knowing yourself and your CORE.
(Disclaimer: As with all things in life, when your soul isn’t ready to receive, you won’t be able to see, hear or read anything to give you your answers. But because you are here today, reading this, your soul is searching, and I hope to enlighten you with the answers you seek).
But I digress, we’re discussing the meaning of Purpose. And I’ve stated that it’s the CORE of WHO you are. Let me explain further.
Imagine yourself in a situation, where you’re at your lowest, where you really think and believe that it cannot get any worse than this. Now imagine meeting someone worse off than you. This person will have a problem that will suddenly ignite your soul. It will be a situation, where you know beyond a shadow of doubt, that you can help, empower, shift this person’s gloomy situation. Irrespective of what gloomy state YOU may be in. You have this fire within you, ready to serve helping to solve this one problem that you are instinctively phenomenal in.
This something within you, is your Life PURPOSE.
It’s always been with you, since you were born, even before that (if you believe in that too).
It’s not your career. Profession. Fame. Status.
It’s the CORE of WHO you are.
WHAT DOES IT HELP KNOWING YOUR LIFE PURPOSE?
What a great question!
When you know and are fulfilling your Life Purpose, you’re confirming to yourself and everyone else, that YOU are the most important person in this world. And that your cup is full!
When your cup is empty, you cannot serve. Like a car cannot run on empty, neither can you.
I know of many who have absolutely no interest in wanting to know their life purpose because they’re too busy surviving with Maslow’s level of security i.e. food, water, shelter.
And yet, there are moments, when they ask themselves, as mentioned above: “What am I here for? To work, sleep and work? Isn’t there more to life than this?”
When you’re in a state of surviving your focus is no longer on you but on survival. And this depletes your energy. And you’re not able to serve. Now I need to mention something of importance (lest I forget to mention this somewhere else): The most important person in your life is YOU. If you don’t take care of you first, everything around you can and will swallow you up and leave you out in the rain to wash away. No-one cares about you, the way you should care about you. Serving others when your cup is empty, leads to depression, depletion, tiredness, sickness and everything that’s the opposite to when you put you first.
So, when your cup is full, you’ll have more energy to serve others.
I think you get the idea right?
So back to the question: Why know your life purpose? Why stress yourself out wanting to know it?
Because it gives your life DIRECTION and CLARITY.
As you grow in life, love and entrepreneurship, you will ALWAYS encounter highs and lows. And it’s especially in those low moments, when you feel that you’re lost or not on track, that your purpose will pull you back to your life path.
Let me give an example with one of my clients: BrandSashka created her Soul Branding. We worked on her Life Purpose and aligned it with her business message. Business suddenly took a bit of a dive, and there was no money coming in, which meant that her cash flow was diminishing despite bills still needing to be paid.
In traditional marketing, she would’ve focused on pushing her services, selling with the intention of urgency and being desperate. In her life, she created intentions out of fear. Old limiting beliefs and life patterns would come up of living out on the street, losing everything she built up and earned. Not being able to provide for her children. Being a failure.
She started the old pattern of worry.
And I sensed this (or the Universe guided me). So I contacted her to ask if all was ok. As you can imagine, she wasn’t.
So I reminded her of her Life Purpose: The CORE of WHO she is.
My client at first brushed the Life Purpose off. “It’s just words and isn’t bringing in money, Sashka”.
Totally get that.
I reminded her, to separate herself from this situation. To see herself looking at the situation through her eyes, rather than BEING the situation.
Then I asked her to SEE herself – the CORE of her Purpose – and how she would handle this situation without the fear.
It was a bit of a back and forth and struggle to fight past the fear and see herself separate from the situation, but once we got there, she was able to see that the situation that she was in, was like a level in a video game. And in order to get to the next level and score points, she had to go through this level.
So we started working through, what this level was wanting to TEACH her (which by the way, I tell my clients to note these moments as they are things that HER soul group will go through, and where she’ll be able to assist them in their time of need).
This level had an incredible amount of personal development that needed to be worked on.
By remembering every single day, WHO she was and her PURPOSE, she was able to keep the situation as an entity apart from herself, in other words, the situation should not define who she is, but strengthen her.
Her situation lasted almost a year.
During this time, she worked on not panicking.
We worked on being in control.
Reminding herself that this situation isn’t happening TO her but WITH her.
That she was bigger than this situation.
To keep calm and think rationally on how other avenues could be pursued to ensure money was coming in.
To not feel guilt and shame that she couldn’t afford things for her children NOW but that they would come – just not NOW. And that it wasn’t the end of the world. And to create moments that would pull the family together rather than separate them based on financial losses.
By doing this, she was also enhancing her life’s purpose and mastering her craft.
You see the focus wasn’t on the problem but on the solution.
And this changed everything.
Now when this situation comes up, she’s not hiding behind fear and letting it control her, but rather she’s living her Life Purpose, and living by example to serve others.
Because her Life Purpose aren’t just words – they are living and breathing. And she’s the only one who can bring it to life by living it daily and mastering her craft.
DOES EVERYONE HAVE A LIFE PURPOSE?
YES! They do!
Isn’t that wonderful?
We’re not here to live a Bill Murray Groundhog day life.
Everything in our lives don’t happen TO us. We’re in moments in our lives – good and bad – that make us stronger. And there are some shit ugly horrible things in this world that make me shudder, which is why we, as beacons of hope, have a purpose to serve others to help THEM find THEIR purpose.
I personally find that in order for us to help others, we need to help ourselves first. Because when we are strong, we’re able to hold more than we think we can carry.
I work with incredible clients who are helping the world to heal, one person at a time.
And they’re doing it better when they’re grounded in their Life Purpose, becoming unshakable Visionary Leaders.
DO MY GIFTS AND TALENTS HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH MY LIFE PURPOSE?
I love this question!
In my opinion I see your gifts and talents as a part of your Life Purpose’s personality.
I’ll take me for example: My life’s purpose is to re-empower the Visionary Underdog To Become Legendary Leaders.
My gifts and talents are oh-so-many.
I can sing, dance, act, cook, organize, solve problems, run businesses, strategize, chunk down and the list goes on.
And all these talents and gifts assist me in fulfilling my life’s purpose.
They are also gifts and talents that I have perfected over the years. I studied and excelled at drama and dance. And I use this when I speak to thousands of people on stage or when I teach Dance Fitness classes.
But it’s not directly linked to my Life’s Purpose or my business – I see them as my assistants.
You see, what I have found, and it’s something I write about in my book Soul’d Out, that that what we’ve always wanted to become: be it an actress, writer, singer, firefighter and so forth, are facades that were masking a certain life area in our lives. Which are almost always one of our recurring stumbling and learning blocks in life.
For example: I always wanted to become a famous Hollywood actress. The underlying reason why, was because I wanted to have so much money that I could be and do whatever I wanted and never have any family feuds that were caused by money. I would be rich enough to give everyone what they wanted and stop the arguments. You see, my stumbling block was (not so much anymore), the financial life area.
So becoming an actress is my talent and gift, but not necessarily linked to my Life Purpose.
Does that make sense? Let me know in the comments.
SO HOW DO I FIND MY LIFE PURPOSE?
In my opinion recognizing that:
- You need to ask the right questions to bring out the right answers within you (see my book Soul’d Out)
- That your Life Purpose isn’t your career, status, or profession
- That it’s a ball of fire within you, ready to serve those who are within your soul group to assist them in THEIR journey to finding THEIR life purpose and becoming their biggest version of themselves
- That it’s not your gifts or talents
In closing, I wanted to state that finding your purpose, shouldn’t be the heavens opening up and showering you with laurels and gifts. Nor should it be leaving you anxious, depleted and feeling worthless by not finding it.
Finding your Life Purpose, is within you. It’s something that should bring you joy and freedom.
It’s not necessary to make it a painful experience.
But rather, it’s your own personal awakening and journey. And it evolves over time.
I have assited many in finding the missing puzzle pieces to finding their Life Purpose and aligning it with their life and businesses, because they were ready to step into a higher level of their own lives – ready to make the impact they’ve been called to do.
Just knowing their Life Purpose is one thing, but fulfilling it is another.
What’s the most important though, is wanting to find it and fulfill it.
Leaving you standing rooted and strong and a beacon of light to others.
Because you were born an original, why die a copy?
Much love to you
Leave me your comments / insights / opinions below – I would LOVE to hear from you.
Her signature approach is to Brand Your Soul® using Soul Brand Marketing®. Her methods are creative, wise, humorous and imaginative, to help lifestyle entrepreneurs ‘come-out-of-the-closet’ with a brand that is tailored to the entrepreneur rather than the product and/or service.
Sashka is the author of Soul’d Out: Your Guide to Finding Your Life Purpose, which also includes a 50-page workbook, written for people who want to find their life purpose and apply it to their vocation.
Physically trained as an actress, dancer, singer, consumer behaviorist, marketer and advertiser, she’s empowered hundreds of clients, students, children and event attendees, to see that their life purpose is what steers their brand and gives it soul and the brand leadership entrepreneurs desire.
She’s been featured on Natural Born Coaches, Trafeze, Steven Aitchison, various virtual on-and offline summits and more.
Born and raised in South Africa, residing in London (UK), she now lives in the Tyrolean Alps with her one husband, three children. She is a slave to one cat and is shadowed by one dog.
Contact Sashka here.